The Benefits of NOT Writing

Yes, seriously. No, I’m not losing my mind.

I’m just saying that although if you’re reading this blog, writing is your bread and butter (like it is for me), but there’s more to you than just that. I’m also saying that unfortunately, try as we might, writing just doesn’t happen outside of work. That’s been the case for me for the past six months, I think. Or maybe it’s even been more.

No matter how long it’s been since the words were really flowing without having to try, I went through a bit of writer’s guilt. Then not far behind that comes the imposter syndrome, and that can be really hard to claw your way out of.

Instead of penalizing myself for not feeling motivated with my latest concept, I’m trying to refocus on this season, knowing that the inspiration will come back. What I blame for this seemingly endless dry spell are the following (which, aren’t bad things by any means, they just may be to blame for my lack of creative motivation):

My table at the Scituate Farmer’s Market in RI recently!

• Having a boyfriend (don’t get me wrong, I love him SO MUCH – but it’s like now that I’m finally happy in that area of my life, suddenly I’m lacking the need to escape from monotony by writing a story). I call this the “Taylor Swift syndrome” (you know, when she openly started dating Joe Alwyn and suddenly fans worried all the angst would be gone from her songs, leaving us with nothing but sugary-sweet garbage). I don’t want to lose my angst either!
• My freelance gigs (as much as I am so grateful to be able to pay off my car as fast as I have been, there’s something really tricky about saving any creative juices for my own work after writing about pest control and personal care products all day).
• My other interests (in this case, my crocheted art that I make by hand for my vendor shows, as well as my independent guitar studies that have also sadly, fallen quite a bit to the wayside). After I get through all of those things, I feel too tired to sit and craft the story that’s been bumping around in my head for like a year now.

These aren’t meant to be viewed as excuses, but rather a self-awareness tactic to diagnose the issue, and then bring some much-needed balance back to my life. What I would suggest if you find yourself in a similar boat, would be to sit down and make a list of all the things you’re juggling in your life (professional, and otherwise). From there, try and compartmentalize / prioritize the things that you most want to tackle first, and what you feel okay with waiting on for a little while.

And in return, you’ll gain…

• A renewed sense of self

• A fresh start

• Better quality writing

• More motivation (ironically, but it’s true!)

And if you have the opportunity to enjoy a different facet of your interests for a while besides writing, don’t feel badly about it. Instead, soak up the rest of this summer with all the amazing things that make you unique!

Keep in touch with my latest book signings and art shows via my events page!

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Stop Trying to Pour from an Empty Cup: Feed Your Soul

Trust me, I keep learning this lesson the hard way.

It’s so tempting to keep jumping around from task to task.

You can very likely get a lot of different things done this way, but it doesn’t mean it’ll be all that fulfilling. You’ll just burn yourself out and then you’ll be miserable. I go through this cycle all the time, but I’m finally ready to try and break it.

So I said last time too. And in previous blog posts, you might’ve noticed me talk about self-care, taking breaks, etcetera. But you know what I realized recently?

There’s actually a third option besides just being a workaholic and being a couch potato.

Yes, seriously – and it’s called feeding your soul.

It’s not a question of working or taking a break – it’s actually more about doing things that make your heart happy. For me, as a content writer, my work is extremely draining on the creative front, so I recognize that I need to take time for my art as well.

Sure, it might not pay as lucratively as my articles about pest control or personal care items, but there’s something incredibly important about writing things that let your light shine. I have a story that’s been begging to get out for a while. And most importantly, big plans for it once I do.

All that being said, if you’re curious about my other stories that have already been published, you can grab copies of those HERE. They’re a mix of coming-of-age, science fiction, and YA/NA romance.

So now the question is, how do I actually get this done?

Right, of course – because it’s rarely that simple. Without any clear plan, it just won’t. That’s why I’m trying to institute Feed My Soul Fridays. Basically, I won’t do any creative work for clients on Fridays (unless there’s a legitimate urgent need). Otherwise, Fridays are my day to plan, daydream, and work on my story. That’s something that will help balance out my work-life. I also want to keep working on music and studying guitar so I can teach students soon – because that will also feed my soul.

One of my soul-feeding hobbies: amigurumi crochet! Check out my art page for more about these funky characters.

Some easy tips I would suggest to help you start a similar habit would be the following:

• Spend a day observing your habits – what do you naturally gravitate towards? Even if you can’t drop everything to do that thing in the moment, make a mental note of what you want to do later.
• Think about your schedule – are there some parts of your typical day or week that are busier, or more open? Try to fit in a bit of these soul-nourishing habits when you find breaks in your schedule.
• Commit yourself to honoring your body and mind consistently. Maybe it means taking time to read for a while before going to bed no matter how late it is. Following through on the promise you made to yourself is a crucial part of self-care. So don’t disappoint yourself!

If you do all these things, I am convinced your work-life balance will get better.

I wish I could say that I’ve mastered this skill, but full disclosure: I definitely haven’t yet. My hope is that by blogging about it and sharing it with you, maybe these habits will get easier to instill in my own life. So feel free to be an accountability partner for yourself, or anyone else around you that’s clearly pushing themselves too hard. I’m the worst about this, but I’m feeling the effects of not doing that, and it’s definitely not going to pay off in the longterm.

So here’s to a productive, yet fun, soul-nourishing summer. Sink your toes into the sand and live it up, because you’ll never be this young again 😉

Hello Summer, Goodbye Free Time.

As we approach the official-unofficial start to summer, I was just thinking the other day how I used to look forward to this time of year more than any other. I’d be out of school (no more homework – yay), away from the bullies (duh), and could wear whatever I wanted (no dumb private school dress codes at home). Given how amazing this time of year typically is for me, I’m actually going into it this year feeling a bit stressed.

Wait no – that sounds depressing.

I don’t mean this to sound like a total downer, but there are so many different things happening this summer that I didn’t have to juggle back in my school days.

Things like…

• Freelance blogging
• Editing
• Crocheting art for my vendor shows
• Training to teach guitar
• And somehow still carving out time with my boyfriend (yep, that’s new – read this post for more on that)

They’re all good things of course – but I’ve learned that not all stress is something negative. In fact, sometimes the best things in life freak us out for totally normal, human reasons. And that’s totally okay! But these particular things are requiring a fair amount of adjusting, so I better step it up and reorganize if I ever want to make any headway on my next book.

It’s not what you do with your time so much as the habits you form.

If you’re like me and plan on nixing your habit of laying in bed until noon, that’s naturally going to free up a lot of your time. So sometimes the little changes you apply to your life make all the difference. Don’t be afraid to celebrate those! I’m learning to listen to my body. When I’m tired, I sleep. When I feel motivated to work, I work. Simple as that! Of course, sometimes there are hard deadlines that I have to hit, either for clients, or for a scheduled art show. But aside from those caveats, I let me body and mind lead the process.

Productive rest is also something I want to get a lot better about.

You know, doing something restful besides mindlessly scrolling through Instagram for the umpteenth time that day. Watch your favorite movie, cook something yummy, go out with friends. There’s so much more to life than what you can do. Instead, think about what you can be.

“Be a human being, not a human doing.”

My Quantum Energy Healer, Dr. Mark Mincolla

This particular mantra has always been the toughest for me to master. But I’d wager that’s largely due to societal pressures that make us feel worthless unless we’re actively producing something. But you’ve gotta remember that there are so many wonderful things you bring to the world just by being yourself. Don’t forget that.

Hopefully you’ll be able to have a restful and productive summer. If you have any tips for striking that perfect balance, feel free to reach out to me in the comments. I’d love to hear what you’ve managed to accomplish despite feeling burnt out like I often do!

Happy summer, everybody. Let’s roll.

P.S. – Add my books on Goodreads if you’d like. That would be pretty cool 😉