The Benefits of NOT Writing

Yes, seriously. No, I’m not losing my mind.

I’m just saying that although if you’re reading this blog, writing is your bread and butter (like it is for me), but there’s more to you than just that. I’m also saying that unfortunately, try as we might, writing just doesn’t happen outside of work. That’s been the case for me for the past six months, I think. Or maybe it’s even been more.

No matter how long it’s been since the words were really flowing without having to try, I went through a bit of writer’s guilt. Then not far behind that comes the imposter syndrome, and that can be really hard to claw your way out of.

Instead of penalizing myself for not feeling motivated with my latest concept, I’m trying to refocus on this season, knowing that the inspiration will come back. What I blame for this seemingly endless dry spell are the following (which, aren’t bad things by any means, they just may be to blame for my lack of creative motivation):

My table at the Scituate Farmer’s Market in RI recently!
  • Having a boyfriend (don’t get me wrong, I love him SO MUCH – but it’s like now that I’m finally happy in that area of my life, suddenly I’m lacking the need to escape from monotony by writing a story). I call this the “Taylor Swift syndrome” (you know, when she openly started dating Joe Alwyn and suddenly fans worried all the angst would be gone from her songs, leaving us with nothing but sugary-sweet garbage). I don’t want to lose my angst either!
  • My freelance gigs (as much as I am so grateful to be able to pay off my car as fast as I have been, there’s something really tricky about saving any creative juices for my own work after writing about pest control and personal care products all day).
  • My other interests (in this case, my crocheted art that I make by hand for my vendor shows, as well as my independent guitar studies that have also sadly, fallen quite a bit to the wayside). After I get through all of those things, I feel too tired to sit and craft the story that’s been bumping around in my head for like a year now.

These aren’t meant to be viewed as excuses, but rather a self-awareness tactic to diagnose the issue, and then bring some much-needed balance back to my life. What I would suggest if you find yourself in a similar boat, would be to sit down and make a list of all the things you’re juggling in your life (professional, and otherwise). From there, try and compartmentalize / prioritize the things that you most want to tackle first, and what you feel okay with waiting on for a little while.

And in return, you’ll gain…

  • A renewed sense of self
  • A fresh start
  • Better quality writing
  • More motivation (ironically, but it’s true!)

And if you have the opportunity to enjoy a different facet of your interests for a while besides writing, don’t feel badly about it. Instead, soak up the rest of this summer with all the amazing things that make you unique!

Keep in touch with my latest book signings and art shows via my events page!

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Life Moves Fast… Blink, and You’ll Miss It

I always struggle to think up new things to blog about. My life rarely feels all that exciting. Except for when it does. Then, it’s like a deluge of things and my head spins with all the added changes and adjustments. But that isn’t usually a bad thing – no, quite the opposite actually!

In previous seasons of stagnant progress, I often wondered when (or even if) things would ever change for me. And oh boy, did they change. When I graduated from college wondering what I would do for work, I had to network and work hard for over two years until I started getting real paid gigs. But when I recently bought my first-ever brand new car, I had this moment of “holy crap, I’m actually getting somewhere in life now”. You can read more about that experience in this recent blog post.

But to share with you what I mean, I’ll break it down into three categories:

1. I got a boyfriend.

I know, I was shocked too (JK, it was bound to happen eventually because I’m freaking adorable, obviously). But the WAY in which this one happened was so incredibly wild, I’m still processing it even over a month later.

I originally met Adam TEN YEARS AGO in band camp. I was the guitarist, he was the drummer randomly assigned to the same group. We didn’t talk much, but we definitely hung back while the louder, more confident kids led the conversations. Pretty typical for awkward teenagers (and boy were we awkward). In the decade that followed, we mostly lost contact until he hit me up on Instagram a couple years ago and we started chatting again. Then, this past December, Adam was like “hey, I haven’t seen you in forever, want to catch up sometime?” And so I was like, “Sure, why not?” I can always use more friends. I was partially right about that, it just escalated in a way I definitely didn’t expect. It turns out, we have all the same values and energy. It honestly blew my mind how crazy we connected, and just the sheer depth of our conversations. So I recently asked him, “Are you glad I let you out of the friend zone?” And Adam didn’t skip a beat, he just said “I never really saw it that way.” Enough said, we’re adorable and stuff. I definitely chased guitarists too long when I guess it was always meant to be a drummer 😉

2. I’m starting my guitar teaching journey.

Yesterday was a typical Wednesday for me, except for the fact my guitar teacher dropped the news that he was leaving the store to teach elsewhere. So that’s when I finally decided to take the plunge and go for it – it was time for me to finally start the process of applying to teach. He was already helping me with this process on the practical level, but now is the time I decided to push myself out of my comfort zone and actually go for it after years of toying with the idea. I’m equal parts terrified and excited, but I know that it will be so fulfilling for me, AND will bring some much-needed structure to my weekly routines.

3. My writing gigs are picking up.

I finally am seeing real progress in my professional work. I have clients that come back to me again and again, as well as a couple larger gigs that bring consistent assignments to me. These are HUGE blessings, and the only drawback I can see is that they’re keeping me from writing my next book because I’m often creatively spent by the time I get to it. But that’s okay – I know the creative process takes time, and that as long as I don’t give up, it’ll all happen the way it’s meant to (as seen in the above points 1-2). Of course, there’s still a long way to go, but there’s something really surreal about seeing your life finally start taking shape the way you’ve always wanted it to.

Where has your life been taking you recently? Share in the comments and let me know how you’ve been. And if you’re ever in the market for creative content writing or editorial work, please drop me a line via my freelance website HERE: https://www.angelinasinger.com/freelance

I Turned 24 Yesterday (and I’m Happier than I’ve Ever Been)

I know, not the most scintillating headline ever. Similarly to the way people say Taylor Swift’s newer music isn’t as great as her older stuff because her whole marketing scheme is built on heartache, this newest era of my life is looking really promising even if it’s lacking in the tabloid department.

Drama is so overrated, and I’m so thrilled that I’ve finally started to manage the complications in my life in stride. For my birthday yesterday, I got to spend the day at my cousins’ house, and amidst a lot of yummy food, bakery cookies, and a delicious homemade strawberry mascarpone cake – I felt so loved.

Life is what you make it.

Aside from the cheesy Hannah Montana reference, this sentiment is still really true. For my 24th year, I’m dedicating myself to trusting God over anything else. So much of my life (scratch that – most of my life is pretty unknown at this point, but that’s okay because I know He has a plan for me). And in the meantime, I’m gonna take it easy. Let life happen as it comes, stop overthinking, and let energy in any kind of relationship expand and develop as it should. Anxiety no longer has a hold on me, because I’ve become very mindful of my bad patterns and I do my best to re-route whenever I feel myself slipping again. Not that it’s easy – but it’s an important skill to develop. I literally can’t say enough about how mindfulness is such a game changer.

No – that’s not my motorcycle. I just took a picture on my uncle’s just for fun!

Family is the most important thing.

Not necessarily people you share genetics with (although it often can be). Family refers to anyone who unconditionally cares about you and supports you no matter what. As for me, I have both actual family and “found family” that add so much to my life.

Me and my cousins who made my day so special yesterday 🙂

But on the flip side of my life, I’ve also given myself permission to cut ties with people that don’t contribute to my life or my peace any more. No bad blood here though – but in my 24th year and beyond, I’ve decided that I simply no longer can afford to expel energy where it’s not returned. Something else I’ve learned with this, is that sometimes you miss that person even after making the right decision – but that doesn’t mean you were wrong. Your gut is king here, and honing that skill will only serve you as well as you let it.

Self-Care Matters.

This isn’t a revelation by any means, but I’m including it here anyway. If you’re anything like me – a chronic workaholic – then you know this is something that’s all-too-easy to avoid. But this is me starting my 24th year better. I’m committed to listening to my body and mind, letting my energy and mindset dictate how hard I push myself in my freelance work, as well as my author work.

Yes, the cake was exactly as good as it looks!

And yes, I know you’re probably wondering when you can expect to read the sequel to Forgetting What I Couldn’t Remember (Forgiving What I Couldn’t Change) – but I swear it’s coming! I’ve hit the 90k mark, and I fully intend to have it ready for a summer release. If you’ve read the first book, you’ll probably get why that’s a hilarious marketing opportunity. Or, if you haven’t yet, you can take a peek at it on Amazon HERE. This book, and its sequel, are a major part of the reason I’ve been able to kick my more unhealthy mindsets and set my past to rest.

As you may know, I was bullied and ignored by my peers a lot as a kid, and that’s something I had to come to terms with the only way I knew how: through my writing. So that’s why I wrote a whole time-travel concept about my current self going back in time to revisit old bullies (while navigating the pitfalls of twenty-something romance). It’s been a tricky challenge but the more I publish about it, I feel lighter and clearer. There’s no better therapy then writing how you feel and launching it out into the world (or maybe I’m just weird that way, LOL).

Anyway, thank you so much for following my author blog! There’s so much I’m looking forward to sharing with you soon. Up next is Forgiving What I Couldn’t Change, and after that… will be a rockstar romance I have brewing. And I can promise you, it’s nothing like you might expect.

At 22, I dyed my hair pink. At 23, I got my nose pierced. So there’s no telling what 24 will bring. But I’m so ready – bring it on.