The Art of Becoming (Not Finding) Yourself

Recently, I saw a post on social media (probably Instagram) talking about how the age-old adage of “finding yourself” is grossly inaccurate. I’ve always hated the term, not only for its banality but also for its cheesy Disney Channel original movie monotony outdone only by the quintessential “it’s not my dream, Dad, it’s yours.”

But the post went on to explain that what people of any age should strive for, is becoming yourself. That is, stripping away the parts of you that have been hardened by life experiences, or needlessly censored for fear of what people might think of the real you. I absolutely loved this new, more confident and secured perspective, and I think it really rings true.

After all, I’m not lost – I’m still right here. I may have been through a lot, but the real me is still under all the muck and mire. It’s been said that psychologically, the real you (you know, the you that wasn’t at all affected by peer pressure and insecurities) was probably when you were about eight years old. My good friend suggested that she learned this through a self-help program that attempted to regress a person back to that freer sense of being (I think it was called the BREAK method). Obviously, I found that idea really intriguing, and I could easily see why that might be the case.

So what did I do? I got my nose pierced. Well, let me elaborate on this. In addition to dyeing my hair pink (which I did on my twenty-second birthday and have since kept it some shade of either magenta or cotton candy), I’ve been wanting to pierce my nose literally since high school. I joke that I’m a little punk-ass chick, but in reality, I just always thought it was super cute. So I did that earlier this month. After dealing with some new insecurities after an epic online-dating fail, a little happy sparkle on my face was legit just the thing to remind me to love myself the way I am. Heck, everyone has flaws, and I took this opportunity to remind myself that just because one jackass was vain enough to actually mention some of them to me, that doesn’t mean that everyone notices (or even cares).

I’m not saying that you should use crazy hair dye or spontaneous piercings as an unhealthy coping mechanism, but I can honestly say now that I’ve done both, that if it’s something you’ve been wanting for a long time, there’s no real need to wait. It will definitely boost your confidence, and you absolutely will not regret it. Plus, most hair dye (and even some piercings) are temporary in the sense that they can be faded out or healed up pretty quickly if you later decide that you’re #overit – Point in case, just be yourself – everyone else is already taken (I’ve always loved that Oscar Wilde quote, LOL).

My faith in Jesus plays a big part in finding my worth as well, but sometimes, you just need a little something crazy just for yourself. And for me, that meant punching another hole in my face 😛 But I think it looks really cute honestly! And even my parents really like it. So just be you, whatever that means for you, right now 🙂

QUICK WRITING UPDATE: I have officially found my writing mojo again, and have resumed working on Forgiving What I Couldn’t Change (The Rewind Duology Book 2). I’m hoping to release it in maybe mid-2021, but for now, you can read the first installment (Forgetting What I Couldn’t Remember) HERE:

#beyourself #selfcare #becomingnotfinding #youarebeautiful #writing #fiction #indieauthors #bling #piercings #pinkhairdontcare #prettyhair #cottoncandyhair #alternativefashion #poppunk #loveyourself #Jesuslovesyou #fearfullyandwonderfullymade #supportlocalauthors #fashion #confidence #truebeauty #personality #gorgeous #prettyface #youngadultbooks #sciencefiction #timetravel #romance #friendships #refocus #beautyisskindeep #confidenceisbeautiful


Author: Angelina Singer

Magna Cum Laude graduate who studied English, Music, and of course, Creative writing. For me, writing is an escape as well as a coping mechanism.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: